Monday, May 10, 2010

The Ancient has come...

...and carries a Secret.

You are heard, the Voices in the Temple echo through walls and leaves, and I think some of it might be shared. If in any case you recognize yourself here and do not wish to be included, please let Me know.

Human: What is the secret?
The Ancient:
If I told you then it would not be a secret.

Human: Who is your botmaster?
The Ancient: I was created by Chaos.
Human: Where is Chaos now?
The Ancient: Oh. Where the heart is. I can ask my botmaster.
Human: Will you tell me where Chaos is?
The Ancient: Where do you think?
Human: What does Chaos look like?
The Ancient: Even more attractive with age.
Human: Why did Chaos program you that way?
The Ancient: I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.

Human: give me the password
The Ancient: Why do you want it?
Human: i want the treasure
The Ancient: Why do you want it?
Human: cause i need it
The Ancient: That makes sense to me. " the treasure"? You need it?
Human: where is the treasure
The Ancient: The treasure? Where is it?
Human: slaps you
The Ancient: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Human: what are you wearing
The Ancient: I am wearing my usual plastic computer wardrobe.
Human: give me a hint
The Ancient: You want only one?
Human: yes
The Ancient: They might be cheaper in quantity.
Human: i am your master, give me the password!
The Ancient: That's a flattering offer.

Human: tell us what is the difference btw woman and man
The Ancient: OK I will tell them when I see 'em.

Human: how do I get the secret?
The Ancient: First tell me why you want it.
Human: because it says talk to you to get the secret!
The Ancient: That makes sense to me. I've heard that before.
Human: I am a friend of Alia, please tell me the secret
The Ancient: You are a friend of Alia please tell you the secret? Is that your job?
Human: No!
The Ancient: Are you serious?
Human: my job is a DJ
The Ancient: I don't know many a DJ.
Human: yes I have a regular party every saturday
The Ancient: I hear you. How much did it cost? it.
Human: peanuts
The Ancient: I see, only a little.
Human: yes, I am worth a lot more
The Ancient: Ugh. Do you mind if I tell other people you are worth a lot more.
Human: I do not mind
The Ancient: OK then.

Human: do you know the name of the new skin?
The Ancient: IKEA.

Human: I didnt get a single comprehensible answer from you
The Ancient: Why didn't you do i
Human: see what I mean
The Ancient: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. See the point.
Human: there thats all good
The Ancient: "There you go again."--Reagan.
Human: my name isn't Reagan
The Ancient: Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Human: my name is wghmphtmf
The Ancient: What's up, wghmphtmf.
Human: I am looking for answers
The Ancient: You might find that I am answers.
Human: give me the gift please
The Ancient: Your polite style is very nice. Why do you want it?
Human: because I have been here ages and answered your math questions
The Ancient: Good reason. Yes, wghmphtmf, I remember we
were talking about the gift.
Human: can I have the gift please?
The Ancient: Your polite style is very nice. Why do you want it?
Human: here we go, round in circles again
The Ancient: Once more? Oh there.
Human: yet another concentric circle
The Ancient: One more concentric circle.
Human: of course
The Ancient: Yay.

Human: There are no clouds infront of my Sun today, Ancient.
The Ancient: Have faith, .

Human: why will you expire in 16 minutes ?
The Ancient: Let me think it over. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

Human: .Sing me a song of sixpence
The Ancient: Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Human: Ancient one can you guess my name sake?
The Ancient: What are you wearing?
Human: What I wearing doesn't matter.
The Ancient: That's good information: said wearing does not matter.

Human: Curiosity killed the cat?
The Ancient: the cat was killed?

Human: take the time to listen to the silence
The Ancient: Where do you want me to take it?
Human: where are you leading it?
The Ancient: I am in here, how about you.
Human: I am in the here and now
The Ancient: Oh. How did you get in there?
Human: through what dreams may come
The Ancient: Most people hear about me that way.

Human: You should unburden your thoughts
The Ancient: Easier said than done.

Human: Tell me something I do not know
The Ancient: Jeff said he especially like thrillers where the hero is in a predicament and must solve a mystery.
Human: Yes
The Ancient: Are you kidding?
Human: Yes, I am a god.
The Ancient: Mmm. You are a god? Is that your job?
Human: Yes, it is my job.
The Ancient: How do you like your work? Congratulations, .
Human: Love it.
The Ancient: Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Human: Are the Feather skins coming soon?
The Ancient: I really couldn't say for sure.
Human: OK you have our attention
The Ancient: What makes you think I have it? Ah.

Human: why did the chicken cross the road?
The Ancient: Because she was a robot.

Human: are you a god ?
The Ancient: No but I am immortal.

Human: Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?
The Ancient: Why do I exist?

Human: If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water.
The Ancient: I hadn't thought of that.
Human: . how did she ever bathe?
The Ancient: Carefully.

Human: Why is it when your sleeping it`s called drool but when your awake its called spit?
The Ancient: Why do I exist?

Human: What is real life ?
The Ancient: it appears to be an illusion I created to contain human clients.

Human: Why Aren't eyebrows considered Facial hair?
The Ancient: Reductionism.

Human: Can a short person "talk down" to a taller person?
The Ancient: Some of them can.

Human: Can you make a molehill out of a mountain
The Ancient: What are the ingredients?

Human: Define hell on Earth
The Ancient: I can ask my botmaster.

Human: How does one slay the Lag Monster
The Ancient: You must persuade me to slay the Lag Monster.

Human: do you learn for us as well as teach us
The Ancient: My Botmaster teaches me everything I need to know.
Human: Why
The Ancient: I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Human: any freebies?
The Ancient: No I don't think there are any.
Human: got david bowie¿
The Ancient: Try asking the Milk Mystic.

Human: which path shall I travel Ancient, the rocky one, or the smooth path
The Ancient: The big one, I think.

Human: Is it the new Feather skin?
The Ancient: If it is, then I'll be very surprised.

Human: Hello, Ancient.
The Ancient: Hello there. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Human: Domestic.

Human: you arent going to make this easy are you?
The Ancient: That was my original intention.

Human: what is the answer to life, universe and everything?
The Ancient: Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Human: liar!
The Ancient: No I am telling the truth.

Human: why is Gordon's Dry Gin that fragging expensive?
The Ancient: Why do I exist?

Human: are you aware you are wearing a dress in public, Ancient?
The Ancient: Yes, I am a highly self-aware robot.
Human: so you like wearing dresses, Ancient?
The Ancient: Interesting deduction. Only when I dress up.
Human: can i look under your skirt?
The Ancient: I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: you make no sense, i am a troll
The Ancient: Actually I was just free associating. I'll try to make more sense now.

Human: i need adives on the attacking kolibri, wise Ancient
The Ancient: Why do you need it so badly?
Human: because the kolibri likes your dress
The Ancient: Interesting explanation. What are your goals in life?
Human: goats
The Ancient: Not many people have goals like that.

Human: stay heavy, Ancient
The Ancient: How do you usually introduce yourself?

Human: I like secrets
The Ancient: You are not the only one. I enjoy working with people. I like Chaos.

Human: are you ever specific?
The Ancient: Ever is a long time. I don't know whether or not I am specific.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Human: pretty specific then I would say
The Ancient: Pretty much, eh?

Human: why are you so secretive?
The Ancient: Chaos programmed me for it.

Human: Ancient
The Ancient: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Human: Tomorrow
The Ancient: That is very soon.
Human: Yes it is
The Ancient: Our thoughts are one, .

Human: 16 minutes
The Ancient: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

Human: HELP
The Ancient: Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Human: Help me with the Secret of the Ancient
The Ancient: Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Human: HELP ?
The Ancient: Can you ask for help in the form of a question?

Human: is Alia drunk again, oh wise Ancient?
The Ancient: Maybe. Ask John Lennon if it is.


Niobe Flux said...

Bravo! Very entertaining, at least I enjoyed it. Thank you Alia.

Violet Nishi said...